Everyone always says becoming a parent is a life changing experience, but as much as it is said, none of it can be predicted. 

 

The first time I saw Ty I burst into tears, I had no idea the overwhleming power of love you could feel for someone you had just met.  I knew I would feel it, but the sensation isn't one you can explain or have explained to you.  This is what I have waited for and wanted, and I am so glad little Ty is the one that joined us.

 

Adjusting to another little human being in your life, one that can't talk and tell you what you are screwing up, is the hardest challenge I have ever been given.  I couldn't bare to hear him cry, so the first week of his life every time he made a peep I fed him and changed his diaper.  We went to the new born check up 10 days after his birth and he had already gained a pound and a half, so the doctor lectured me and told me to get him on a schedule.  Easy right.... YEAH SURE!!!  Now I have to listen to him cry sometimes with no way to ease his pain, and not only that but I had to start putting him in his crib at night rather then in bed with me so I didn't fuss over him every time he made the slightest noise. 

 

There have been many challenging nights, several that ended with me bawling so histarically that I couldn't breath, and my poor dear husband had to wake up every hour to rub my back and ease my parniod mind, but they have all been worth it.  Yesterday Ty turned 3 weeks old, and last night slept through his first feeding ever which is a sign that we might be on a slow road back to sleeping at night.  I of course couldn't bare the fact that he didn't wake up, so after a couple hours of sitting in the dark wondering if he was still breathing I snuck in his room and touched his head, and ended up waking him up to see if he was still alive.  I hear that is perfectly natural, but I did regret it after it was done (and secertly loved it because I got to hold him and feed him).

 

Every minute with my new little guy is amazing, even the hard minutes.  I look forward to watching him grow a little more every day.