I am so depressed this morning.  I just watched a video that someone posted on myspace about a bueatiful little girl that was killed by her mothers new husband, while the little girls daddy was in Iraq.  Her new husband abused the girl for months, and eventually killed her.

It killed me a little bit inside.

I can't take it, I don't understand it.  Since I have had my little guy, I am so much more emoitional about the way that people treat childeren.  How could you even for one second hurt or let anyone else hurt your own blood?  You carry your baby for 9-10 months, you birth them, you care for them as they grow, and then you or someone you choose to have involoved in your life takes all of that away from you.

My worst fear ever since I got pregnant was that something might happen to Ty.  He is so special.  He is truely my everything, and if something ever happened to him I don't know that I could go on living.  If I was responsible for something happening to him I would NEVER EVER forgive myself, I would never be the same. 

I think about horrible things that could happen to him and I quickly act to remove those thoughts from my head because I don't want to have something happen to him because I am thinking about it.... I know, I am crazy, but the point is, doesn't everyone with kids think this way?  How could people do these things to their own kids and live with themselves?  How can you be directly linked to abuse of your kids in anyway!

Dear lord, please give me the ability to forget about those horible people out there that make this world scary to live in.  Give me the ability to be the best parent I can be, and allow me to show others why kids are so amazingly wonderful if they don't already know it!!! 

Man, talk about the rumor mill lately. 

Everyone seems to have an opnion on what one of our friends is choosing to do with her life (if you don't know who I am talking about, then you don't know her).  All-be-it the situation she is in SUCKS, and I am the first person to say it isn't the right path, but really it is none of my Fing business if I am not going to do anything to help the situation and just want to bitch about it publicly

Why be so creul to someone you know is already hurting and can't find their way?  Do you think it makes the situation better, do you think it helps them figure out where they are?  Well if you do, you are retarded, because it doesn't.

Don't get me wrong, self preservation is top of mind for everyone, but to preserve yourself you don't have to beat others down.  You can make the choice to not involove yourself with someone who is making the wrong choices with thier life, but does that mean you have to make sure everyone else feels the same way about that person as you do?  To me a friend is a friend.  Of course some people come and go, but I am old enough now to know that those that go sometimes come back, and even if they don't, me speaking out of turn and harassing them verbally doesn't make one bit of difference.

Basically, in my opnion, if you don't like someone that is your opnion, you don't need to share it unless you are trying to solve a problem.  If you are done with someone why do you waste your time tearing them down... obviously you still care, and if you still care, again, why tear them down?  It is a broken cycle that never ends, and if that is the type of person you are, well, I choose not to be around YOU!

We all know she is a good person at heart.  We all know what she is capable of and who she really is when she is herself.  She is the type of friend that would have stode in front of a bus to save someone she loved and wouldn't think for 2 seconds about it.  Now that bus is headed towards her at full speed and all you people are doing is giving it more gas to accelorate.  Please people, be supportive, remember who she was and why you were her friend to begin with.  If enough people show her they love her, instead of validating her fears that everyone hates her, well she might just have a chance of getting out of her rut.

I am working on finding a facility to help her.  If you are interested in being a part of that help, I welcome the mail.  If you aren't then please at least stop making the situation worse!!!!!!!!!